Catch – 22

Here's an interesting conundrum.  The last few months I've been begging and scraping for donations and financial help and have been fortunate enough to be able to make my rent and bills through the help of generous people and the donation sites I have set up.

I also applied for SSI which would have been around $700 / month and would have helped me survive until my early retirement kicks in at the end of January.

Today I got the news that my SSI has been denied.  Why?  Because I have too much money coming in.  They looked at the donations and assistance and decided I don't qualify for SSI.  I was told that if I want to contest the decision I would have to supply proof that the "help" has stopped coming.  I told the woman on the phone it wasn't regular income.  I never know what's coming.  In most cases I don't know who has made the donation.  How am I supposed to prove their help has stopped, when they donate once and I don't know who they are.  This makes no frikken sense.  I guess if I were evicted and living in my car with my dogs, then maybe I would qualify for SSI.

I've been bashing my head bloody for months.  I'm so angry.  Jumping through their hoops, getting the runaround.  I'm tired.  I'm just so tired.  I don't want to do it anymore.  And it's my birthday today.  I know I should be trying to stay positive.  But all I can do is cry.


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